Part of a family...

Hello people
Thought I'd let you know my sore throat is better which is cool. I did get a cough afterwards but now that is gone as well. So Thanks to God for making me better so soon.

I am excited at the moment. The reason being that about a week ago, I saw one of my managers from work (I work at McDonalds Friday nights and part of Saturday) wearing this hoodie - which said something about Christian Unions on it. That would be really cool because if she is a CHRISTian then I will have someone to talk and relate to at work. That is such a cool thing for me.

I haven't asked her yet about it - but it would be so so cool if she is. It's just the idea of having someone else from God's family in the same workplace, that I can hang with. It reminds me of just how good fellowship is.
When I became a Christian, I became part of a family as well. God's family is so different from any other club or family like structure.

There's something so special and right about being able to sit down with people and pray for them and encourage them in their walk with God... and also when they reflect the same to you by praying with you and helping you see the bright side when things are down.
This is what being part of church is like - and it is beautiful.
There's something so right about a family where people bear eachothers' hurts and yet share eachothers' happiness.
Where Jesus shines through relationships.
Where people are forgivings and understanding towards eachother.
Where people are patient with ach other and help teach eachother.
Where you can cry together when it hurts, and laugh together when things are good.

This type of family is so beautiful and so special - we should do everything we can to preserve it. Not only that but to keep building eachother up and encouraging eachother so that we all "reach unity in the faith" (as Paul [i think] put it).

I love church so much because of being able to be with people there. I love this blogworld as well because of everyone I can talk to and share with.
I think God shines through His church, as His people love and care for eachother. It's an amazing witness to the world.
Jesus' words hang with me here

John 13:35 (New International Version)
By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

There are so many times when I have felt discouraged and down, but it is through people belonging to God - those you are His children - that I have received encouragement and patience.
It's very easy on your own to get discourgaed by a whole host of things... not least our own sin which is so painful to have. I long to be perfect like my Saviour, but I am not there yet. When I sin I feel like I'm walking away from Jesus, the one who showed such kindness to me.
For that reson my sin is disgusting to me and I hate it.
But isn't it easy to hate yourself as well because of your imperfections and loose sight of the fact that God's love runs deep enough to overcome them.

Maybe you are in a horrible place where you can find it hard to trust that God's forgiveness is there for you, and that He really does love you. But remember that noone on earth is perfectly righteous and blameless before God on their own.
You may think that although everyone is under sin - some people deserve salvation more than others, because their sin is less than yours.
You might think that God is willing to forgive other people but not you.
To a person feeling like that, remember that Jesus is the one who said these words:

Mark 2:17 (New International Version)
On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

If you feel sick and weak because of your sin then Jesus is the very person who comes to heal you with forgiveness. It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. Jesus had compassion for the people who knew that they were lost in sin. Those who wanted to be cleansed believed Jesus and He cleansed them.

God encourages me so much through his family
People who remind me of truth of how God genuinely does care for me.
When people encourage me and care about how I am feeling.
When people pray with me and for me.
When people are patient with me as I struggle
When people bring prophetic words of encouragement, showing that God knows where I am and cares about how I am feeling.

This is deep love and brings me back to a place where I know God's grace and love towards myself - because it has been revealed to me through the body of Christ. In helping me know Christ more I realise more how my sins are covered by His blood and how I can appraoch God freely.
Peter sums this up beautifully

1 Peter 4:8 (New International Version)
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.


Hope that brings some encouragement to anyone reading. And if you are feeling down...
then have a pat on the back from me and know that God does not give up on those He loves.
And you can know God loves you by the fact that He sent His only Son - to remove your sins by giving up His life for you. God wouldn't give His Son for someone He didn't have time for.

God will not give you up just because you are still growing

Hosea 11:8 (New International Version)
"How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboiim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused.

or again

Zephaniah 3:17 (New International Version)
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

God is mighty to save you. His arm is not too short to save. And He delights in His people. Isn't that an amazing thing to believe? Here is truth that you can trust in.

Psalm 149:4 (New International Version)
For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation.

God is the befriender of the depressed. He brings me through time and again when I loose hope. He is My God and My Salvation.

Hurting with People

Hey everybody, who's stumbled across this blog. God knows you by name. From the before the beginning of the world He knew you.

Hope you're all doing ok...
If you're not, then I hope this will encourage you,
I wanted to share this with you anyway.

On Monday morning, before I walked into my form room at school, I had this thought.
If I was already sitting at my desk, and Jesus came into the room, God's only Son. What kind of person would He be? Jesus was gentle and humble - God's Spirit was on upon Him - He felt and knew people's needs - He shared emotionally wiith them - He loved people.

Isaiah 42:3 (New International Version)
A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;

So I should try and do the same.
Because I might be the only person in some peoples' lives who ever tries to show love or listen to them.
Could Jesus touch people on a Monday morning through me just spending time with people?
I could just hang with them and be a friend to them.
I never thought of evangelism that way before. Before it was me wanting to see the end result. I wanted to just see people saved.

But I myself have taken so long to grow into knowing - that God actually does love me.
Other people may well take time to recognise that as well.
And I have friends at school who come from much worse circumstances than I do. They need someone to love them and listen to them. To share with them emotionally. Not someone so warped with a passion for God that they can't relate to them. Jesus was passionate about His Heavenly Father. But He was still able to listen care and love for people. He was balanced

So in trying to emulate that at school. I learn't a few things about loving people. I'm quite restless in conversation with people.
Maybe I need to be a little more peaceful, a bit more quiet, and listen to people.

Depressed people are going to find it hard to see the bright side. And there are so many people at school who are depressed.
I'm glad sometime I feel down and depressed myself. All the better I can know what it's like to be in the shoes of some people I know.

Isaiah 53:4 (New International Version)
Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows...

If this is waht Jesus did, as His diciples let us do the same. Lets show the same love to the world that was shown to us. Let us carry our lights and let them shine.
So lets reach out to heal and support. Don't break brusied reeds or snuff out smoldering wicks. People so often feel like that.

Looking back on the week, God has touched people.
This is how He helped me...
On Thursday night I got a sore throat - and It was one of those really horrible ones. I'm wrting this Sunday morning and I still feel it a bit. Thursday and Friday were really hectic. Stress packed and too tired to concentrate on stuff, I really felt like throwing in the towel as far as school work was concerned.

But guess what?
So many of my mates were feeling the same.
In fact they often feel incredibly depressed and stressed. They just want a break.
It must hurt so much more to have to deal with the pressure of life and A-Levels and hormones when you don't know Jesus your Saviour.

I can understand why they go out and get drunk on the weekends sometimes - they want a way out - they want to enjoy themselves. I'm not saying that they go the right way about it, but that I feel for them.

I'm glad I was overliad with needing to do school work without the time to do it.
I'm glad my throat was caning me.
I'm glad I felt like giving it up.
Even Jesus felt the same before the cross - But He submited to His Father's will and loved the world by taking the wiegth of our sin for us - so we could be free.
Jesus shared in our humanity. He felt as we do.
I'm glad that I will go through pain like Him and like others I know. It allows me to share in His experinece - and to reach out to others better.

So smiles it's smiles for me
I pray it will be also for you

Thanks to God for being so good, and thanks for all the other things You've done this week that have ben so encouraging. Thanks for everyone reading - I pray that You bless them and encourage them wherever they are emotionally or physically.
Thanks that You are here God by You Spirit.
Thanks for being my Counsellor and all that that entails.
Thanks for being their Counsellor and their friend.
At school - take all of me God - Be the Saviour of my friends through me.
Be the comforter of the people I know
Be the healer of those I know
Be the befriender of those I don't
Be the hope of people.

Amen

Hope in God

This week has overall been good again. Which is cool - I'm starting to appreciate though - the low points that do come along every so often - beacuse when they are over - God always seems to have brought something good out of it - renewed confidence in Him, a better knowledge of just how much He cares.

I thought about this the other day. Suppose you were a soldier and someone gave you a huge steel sword. At first you might be inexperienced using it - you would probably be careless - it would probably be heavy and hard to handle. Although it has the potential to slice the heads off your enemies, it requires experience and tact in order to use it in that way.

Drawing a a parallel to God's word . Although it is absolute and true - a double edged sword as the Bible describes it. It is often through the mess that we go through in life that we learn to seize the weapon God has given us and use it. At first when I became a Christian - any struggle , spiritually or otherwise I faced, I would throw everything I had at it to overcome. Every last ounce of energy and enthusisam - all the will power I could muster.

But hey - a little over 12 months later, and not so apparently as hyped as at first - it is now that I look up to God and the love He has showed me - and I see that His promises of love and grace and forgivemess were there all along to help me
- that I could trust in them and find peace
- that God could overcome my struggles with me.
His sword of truth has been there all along. Now I see that it is His word which guides and protects me... not my own passion or heart for God. It is God who is my Saviour, not my passion for Him.
His are the words
- that defeats the discouragement Satan throws at me
- that gives me peace and confidence when my feelings try to say otherwise (Psalm 71:5) NIV
- that gives me comfort when I am down (Psalm 42:5) NIV
- that gives me hope because Jesus is coming back one day to take me and His church to be with Him forever (1 Thessalonians 4:17) NIV

Hype, enthusiasm, and feeling so rarely (if ever) last - but God's affection is forever. His love is light to my thoughts. My thoughts decieve me otherwise as I am dragged down with discouragement every time I fail.

The concept of grace - for me - was not something I instantly was intimate with.
But through all the times I have hated myself foe being rubbish - I have had to learn to grapple with grace more and more. Now I find it easier to trust God. I still have loads to learn, to mature and to grow. But God will see me through. Just as a soldier needs to grow in experience and is not instantly a warrior - so as Christians it may take time for us to grow - true, in the "not yet" we will struggle...

But that is exactly where we are refined - that is God's love to perfect and teach His beloved children. That they may know Him more.

Psalm 143 (New International Version)
1 O LORD , hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.

3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
....
6 I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah
7 Answer me quickly, O LORD ;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD ,
for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

11 For your name's sake, O LORD , preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

God will destroy my enemey my Accuser - the Accuser of our brothers (as He is described in Revelation 12:10 NIV)
Philemon 1:25 - The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (NIV)

It's been a Good week

Hello everyone,
went back to school this week, kinda was looking forward to it in a way - seeing friends and everything.
I've really "felt" a lot better this week. It's weird though because when I say that, it's not my feelings that have made it a better week. Only God helping me hold onto His grace more tightly so I can really live for Him.

I've been thinking also, about how I so often judge so many things according to how I'm feeling. That could well be why I sometimes feel so messed up - beause my emotions are up and down all over the place. Not only have I judged myself according to how I feel instead of God's grace, but I also try and discern what God wants me to do by what I "feel" He wants me to do.

That may sound quite innocent, but it could be really dangerous also. It is unwise to just try and feel out God's will when my emotions are so non-constant. I want to really try and use my head and ask God for wisdom to handle His word carefully to discern His will. Then I can worship God more with my mind also.

This doesn't make it all easy. But it is a step closer to how I think God wants us to worship. God's promises and words are the only true ans stable foundation we can walk on. Our own feelings can be deceptive and instable. If I always lived by how I felt, then if my feeling were in conflict with God's word, then I would begin to live in disobediance and unbelief.
If I walk away from God and trust more in how I feel, than His promise of Grace and Him being my counsellor by His Spirit He has left with me, then I will believe a lie, that I am condemned and useless and worthless.

Psalm 13v2-6
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD ,
for he has been good to me.

(New International Version)

David wrestles with his thoughts. He has sorrow in his heart. He feels like his enemy is triumphing over him. I relate to that where I sometimes feel like I will never improve and my failings will forever accuse me and triumph over me.
But what does David say at the end?
But I TRUST in You unfailing love, My heart rejoices in Your salvation
And that is where my joy is - In God's salvation of me - not in how I feel
Finally David can say that he will sing to the LORD.
Trusting in God's love above how he felt and all his anguish - resulted in worship.

I want to do the same
God Bless

Immaturity

Hey
I thought I would carry on posting,
If people care enough to read and comment - then I owe them to let them know how things are.

Things are better I suppose - but it doesn't feel like it so it is hard to know
I've spent alot of time thinking but it doesn't solve anything - my thoughts tend to be quite mixed up anyway.

On my last post I said that I shouldn't even think about ministry at the moment, basically because I haven't been obediant to God. I haven't been responsible in small things, so how can I help God's flock.

In a sense that is true - but ministry can mean simply serving and loving people
That is my duty all the time
Maybe what I meant, is that I'm not fit for leadership. That is what I've almost set myself up for. And now I'm thinking, why am I trying to fill a place which God maybe hasn't called me to do. I don't think God has called me to lead people - especially not yet as I am so inexperienced. Paul told Timothy the same thing in chhosing people to lead or oversee. But I have assumed that position allbeit in small ways.

That means I am not caring for His flock like I should. I am being irresponsible with my time. And the things God has called me to do are neglected - LIKE SCHOOL WORK

Also I have a problem with being so pessimistic about everything. People don't appreciate me being gloomy and never seeing anything good in anything. If I constantly complain and have nothing good to say, How does that help build others up?
I need to think a bit more positively and lighten up.
But I also need to be honest with God about how I feel. And I cannot pretend to be joyful and happy when I really am not. That is what I struggle with.
I can try to be positive but what is that except an outward image. I feel rubbish
And it hurts to feel rubbish all the time

The more I think about God, the more rubbish I see myself.
He gives me His Spirit to guide me and teach me - so I can be a better person for Him.

But sometimes I get messed up and take His guidance and turn it into condemnation for myself. Why I do this I don't know...

When God brings something to mind that I need to change
That word is intended to grow me and show me love
But I have this terrible problem where I only see where I am lacking and choose to hate myself for it

I don't know what to do. If every time God speaks to me about something I need to correct, I take it the wrong way and take it out on myself.
When will I ever get a grasp on Grace?
This seems more than a phase for me
It's like a disease I have
The biggest block to me walking with God...

Is myself

I say I am probably doing better - but I really don't know
When God tells me over and over and over again that He does love me
I beleive it for a few hours... a day
And then I slip into despair again

Eventually I am at the point where I try and block out that God could possibly love me
I am sacred that I am hardening myself to God's voice.

Occasionally God makes things perfectly clear and it all seems alright
But after that, it seems to dissappear and I think that my emotions must have lied to me.

I am caught in the "not yet"
In the immature
In the "I know what I should be, but I am not"

and it seems there is no way out
I am forever returning to disbelief and condemning myself
I feel really really lost

Why am I hard hearted and slow to learn slow to believe

Having said that I get comfort from the fact that Jesus diciples walked with Him 3 years and still had trouble believing - and they were far from perfect
some of their ideas and failing seem almost as messed up as mine - yet look a what happened over time they spent with Jesus

Also I know that when Jesus comes back, we will all be made like Him
maybe we will not struggle anymore with our rubbishness
I look forward to that

Anyway
that's all for now
Hope everyone is doing ok
I feel it right to mention the tsunami at the moment

that is so much bigger than anything I am going through
I can't explain why God lets certain things happen
but I know that people often turn to Him when things like this happen
And I pray that anyone caught up in this at the moment, will be kept safe and God will carry you through the hurt however long it lasts

I don't really know what to say
But you have my thoughts