This week I've been on half term (a one week mid term holiday)
Amongst relaxing and doing a bit of revision,
I've also been able to spend some really quality time reading the Bible.
Back a while... when God helped me see how important my school work and study was, I made alot of changes to where I spend my time. That's been really good but I still have a bit of work to do. One of the things being I've not got any set time for serious Bible reading.
Spending quality time in the Word has kind of become a "once in a while" issue. So I've got a little more unstable I guess, emotionally.
I've had a lot more ups and downs because my vision of where I stand with God has become more clouded in my own mind.
But God has used His Word over this half term to re-establish faith in me. To encourage and edify me.
So I've written this thing - bit like a psalm
It's seriously long - but hey - you don't need to read it all...
This is what Your Words are to me God...
They are what I crave when I waver, when I'm weak
They are the confidence I need
Steadiness birthed from faith
From the faith in You that comes from hearing Your Words
Your absolute Words that clarify...
They bring light to me
Life to me
Comfort and hope to me
Love to me.
Your Word is powerful.
You God, can arrest my swimming mind...
and take contol
You sort and sift my anxious thoughts.
They cannot resist Your grip
Givng me truth, understanding and peace
You decifer right from wrong
You bring definition and exactness
God I need Your absolute Word
I crave true revelation of You
It is bread to me
without knowledge of You, of who You are, of the love You share
I feel I will fall apart
...Without Your light I fumble in the dark
I cannot find You with my own thoughts
I cannot understand You on my own -
I hang on
hinge on
what You say
About You...
I want to know You in the now
More than that...I want to grow in You
I want consistancy - to walk with You LORD
You are always right
Always true
Always You
Yesterday and Today You are the same
Tommorrow You are already there, my constant
My Redemer lives and He is forever
Who can take Him away...?
Although I do not fully understand You yet...
You understand me LORD.
You hear my silent thoughts - even when I am too hurting to pray aloud.
When I don't speak You hear me
You hug me and You speak to me when I am angry with myelf.
You tell me You love me when I doubt You
You bring faith to life in me.
Authorship...
You are my author
You create life in me
You plant love in me for You
Whenever things get tough and I am brought down to basics
Then I see that You are the only one,
The only one who I can rely on
You are beautiful
You make my heart yearn after you
Like David I thirst for You, but...
I want to express that and live it out.
I want to be true to You always
I hate being imperfect...
so why do I follow imperfection at times..?
I want to be a worshipper
Althouth it's hard to see how I will get better
Although it can feel that I am consistantly sinful
Although I feel I will never improve...
Your love is greater and stronger!!!
This is what Your word says...
Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
(New International Version)
But I know that You have done work in my life LORD
things have got better
You have been with me...
Thank You for starting something in me God
Thank You that You will carry it on to completion
Unitl that day when You come to get me LORD
I believe that You will come and get me one day
Even when it feels I am not good enough
I want to trust You still
Because You Jesus, have paid my debt and made me acceptable to God
Thank You Jesus
I need God's Words to hold onto
The Bible says this of You
John 1:14
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
(New International Version)
You are the Word
The perfect revalation of who God is
Thanks for being there - full of grace and truth
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5 comments:
Beautiful, Shasa.
For some reason, your blog takes a little while to open from my links. I'm glad I waited long enough to read this - it is precious.
Waiting requires patience - not always easy. But maybe God wants you to be a servant-in-waiting. I know there is a traditional role of "Lady-in-Waiting"to the Queen - (not sure what the male equivalent is!)But their role is simply to be available to the Queen's needs and commands, and to perform them quietly, and without resentment. Maybe God wants to use you as such a servant. In your struggles, understand that by definition, the acquisition of patience takes time.
Thanks for another great blog
Pat
Shasa,
I really enjoy the poetry. God must be delighted with such worshipful praise.
Sometimes it's really hard when we are going through the very dark times to appreciate what God is doing in our life.
I am reminded of Psalm 28 v14
"Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."
This has helped me through some tough times.
Best wishes,
Sarah :-)
Glad you can still praise even when struggling to stay in His Word. Believe me, Shasa, it's not any easier for those of us a few years from 50!
Hey, great praises! It must be a love story! :) It says what i feel but cant often express!
I like the fact about God working it out to completion! I keep praying that a lot lately it gives me something to trust in and hang on too! Trust in his greatness!
God bless & uphold ya!
Nikki
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