little by little...

I keep going up and down
but hey its how God see things that's important

This week has been a mess. I have felt rubbish every single day from morning to night.
Feeling like such a poor Christian I should be shot!
But it's hard to figure out why...

I was preparing for small (cell) groups, and I wanted to in some way, to help Christy, Joel and Daniel take their individual weaknesses to God. Sometimes it's hard to see if they even have any, because everything seems to be going fine for them. But I thought they must strugle with some things even if it is not foremost on their mind.

So I began to write down a list of areas of sin or general weakness that I used to - or still do struggle with myself. And this list got really long.
Most of these areas aren't shocking or "big". But they are there.
Areas like, assuming God has said something when He hasn't...
or being too talkative in classes at school
or not going that extra mile to do something good
or not taking that opportunity to do good where I should

There's so much more as well as that. Sins that build up over the course of the day that rip you apart so bad that by the time you get home you are too depressed to even pray properly. And then you forget to pray for people as well.

BUT BUT BUT

Salavtion is free!!! It's free
Not only do I not have to earn it... - I can't earn it

Hebrews 3 v7-8
So, as the Holy Spirit says:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion,

v12
See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.
(NIV)

I need to take God at His word when He says not to harden my heart, and to put faith in Him. I need to "hold firmly till the end the confidence we [I] had at first"(NIV)
That simple turst that... Jesus you have wiped my sin, my failings... Your power is made perfect in my weakness.
Press on, Press on!!!
Do your best, don't get down.
Maybe you do deserve to be shot, but rememeber... why grace was given to you

Like Paul said:
Ephesians 3:8
Although I am less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me: to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ,(NIV)

Why the grace!!! to preach to unsearchable riches of Christ - to do His work, to serve people.
Yes it may be tough, I may fail, I may be rubbished, Peole may not even respond to God's message. But I must not bury my talent in the ground. I will use the little that God has given me and do my best.
I must I must I must
so

little by little - We go on - God and me... Him carrying and walking with me - being my warior and fighting for me while I fight for the people He wants to reach

That sounds very noble
A high and mature attitude
but Iwant to adopt it.
if you want, please pray that God would bring me into this
It is Him who makes me grow

I may well feel rubbish. But I need to take God at His word and promise of salvation, and press on to serve people
Learn to Serve!!!

Amen
Thanks Jesus - I trust you